What should you tell children to prepare them for a move?

How can you turn a strange city into a friendly place? What's the best time of year to move? Answer from the experts: There's a lot more to buying a new home than simply mortgages and loving vans. Don't ignore the emotional turmoil. Moving to a new community, giving up friends, making new friends and adapting to a different community and lifestyle can be upsetting. Children, in particular, often need help with the transition.

How to prepare for a move.

With very young children, save the news until just a few days before the move. With older children, explanations and preparation are important. Don't surprise them. Lead up to it gradually. Suggest that a move may happen; offer suggestions as to why the move can be a pleasant experience.

   Once you have made your decision, explain it fully to your older children. Let them know what to expect and when. Take the time to thoughtfully answer their questions.

   Expect the number of questions to increase as moving day approaches. Do your best to give helpful, encouraging answers. But don't, under any circumstances, make promises you can't keep. They'll come back to haunt you.

Let your children have their say.

It's tough to leave good friends and a familiar school. As moving day approaches, your children may find the whole idea increasingly scary. Be understanding.

   Consider your children learning about the new community and in making important decisions. Try to take them along on exploratory visits to the new city or neighborhood. Seek out information about their particular interests -horseback riding, community sports, swimming programs, little theatre, etc.

Some moving days are better than others

If you have a choice of moving days, keep these facts in mind; two thirds of all moves take place between June and September. The advantages are that school is out, vacations can be tied into the move, and life is usually a little slower. Disadvantages: moving companies are often booked up; children may have difficulty making friends because many families are away on holidays. (Municipal recreation programs can he them fill the hours and meet other youngsters.)

   Psychologists now agree that children adapt more easily if they move during the school year. They're immediately thrust into school life which helps them meet other youngsters. Parents, too, often find the adjustment easier when community life is in full swing from September through spring.

Don't forget to say goodbye

As friends, relatives and working associates hear about your upcoming move, the inevitable tour of farewell parties will begin. Try to involve your children as much as possible. Don't leave them home with a babysitter. It's also a good idea to let each of your children have a farewell party for their friends. And if a major event is going happen just after you move - a birthday, for example - try to arrange for your children celebrate with their friends before the move.

Settling in takes time

Sometimes the toughest days come after you've unpacked. The adjustment period for children may last two or three months, so try to spend as much time as possible with them.

   Plan family excursions on the weekends; explore your new community together. Remember to think and talk positively. Don't dwell on the home you've left behind; talk about the events and rewards of where you will live now. Before you know it, you'll feel very much at home in your new community.